The following is a record of Vance's handwritten corrections
of the final typed draft of _Maske: Thaery_. Unfortunately
there are a number of cases where Vance crossed out a word
or a phrase, and replaced it with a handwritten correction,
but the original word or phrase was indecipherable.
Obviously, these are not recorded. Page numbers refer to the
typed manuscript of the final draft. The first sentence, or
sentence fragment, listed is the typed version, while the
second sentence is the sentence as read after handwritten
corrections. In all cases that I have checked, unless noted
otherwise, the handwritten corrections were the final
revisions, and correspond to the book. Where something was
indecipherable I have represented that by [brackets].
Occasionally I include my own comments in parentheses.

Page 2 of the introduction:
"With Zangwill Reef across the way beyond..."
"With Zangwill Reef barring the way beyond..."

Page 4 of the introduction:
"During the same period the population of the countryside
expanded, until presently the overflow was forced to seek
employment elsewhere, and young folk coming into their
maturity, in either town or country, found little scope for
their energies."
"During the same period the population of the countryside
expanded, until presently the overflow was forced to seek
employment elsewhere, sometimes in vain, and young folk
coming into their maturity, in either town or country, found
little scope for their energies."

Page 4 of the introduction:
"A bittersweet malaise [indecipherable] the land, and the
folk were affected by contradictory emotions."
"A bittersweet malaise hung over the land like an autumn
haze, and the folk were affected by contradictory emotions."

Page 4 of Chapter 1:
"Vaidro, whose wealth had been derived by mysterious means,
and a silent pensive man, Cadmus off-Droad..."
"Also present were Vaidro, Cadmus off-Droad..."

Page 4 of Chapter 1:
"Rax denied perpetration of a joke so possibly grave, but
his protestations were heard silently, and Rax came to Droad
House on a single other occasion, to participate in events
far more fateful."
"Rax denied perpetration of a joke so outrageous, but his
protestations were heard silently. Rax came to Droad House
on a single other occasion to participate in events even
more fateful."

Page 4 of Chapter 1:
"Benruth's banquets thereafter were both less frequent and
more subdued."
"Benruth's banquets were thereafter both less frequent and
more subdued."

Page 5 of Chapter 1:
"Even before [indecipherable] corpse had been decently oiled
and set upon the pyre..."
"Even before Benruth's corpse had been set upon the pyre..."

Page 6 of Chapter 1:
"The Alien Influences Act forbids offworld traffic to Haske,
and proscribes the return of emigrants."
"The Alien Influences Act forbids offworld traffic to and
from Haske, and proscribes the return of emigrants."

Page 7 of Chapter 1:
"...he wandered County Kroy, trimming hedges and cleaning
meadows of harish."
"...he wandered County Kroy, trimming hedges and cleaning
meadows of harish weed."

Page 7 of Chapter 1:
"...he worked a month in the forests, clearing the trees of
saprophytes and pest-bug colonies."
"...he worked a month in the forests, clearing the trees of
saprophytes and pest-bug."

Page 7 of Chapter 1:
"Somberly as if already entering the autumn of life, Jubal
turned westward."
"Somberly as if he were already entering the autumn of life,
Jubal turned westward."

Page 8 of Chapter 1:
"`...if you will check your contentiousness...'"
"`...if you will contain your contentiousness...'"

Page 8 of Chapter 1:
"`Many would consider you a dull fellow, not I however.'"
"`Many would consider you a dull fellow; not I!'"
(This is the most Vancian correction in my opinion.)

Page 10 of Chapter 1:
"The innkeeper pointed a second time up through the
casement..."
"The innkeeper pointed up through the casement..."

Page 10 of Chapter 1:
"`They are vague and frivolous, agreed, but not given to
inventive fantasies.'"
"`They are vague, agreed, and also frivolous, but not given
to inventive fantasies.'"

Page 10 of Chapter 1:
"Jubal walked out into a land of gleaming white crags and
air fresh with the exhalations of damp thyrse and ground-
mist."
"Jubal walked out into a land of gleaming white crags and
air fresh with the scent of damp thyrse and ground-mint."
(Curiously, in the paperback copy I have, "ground-mint" has
become "ground-mist" once again.)

Page 10 of Chapter 1:
"Jubal surveyed the damage, and looked across toward
Glentlin, three days [something indecipherable. journey?].
Then he turned back to Ivo."
"Jubal surveyed the damage, then turned back to Ivo."

Page 11 of Chapter 1:
"Jubal put the Djan to work preparing footing..."
"Jubal put the Djan to work preparing a new footing..."
(The first version doesn't even make grammatical sense to
me, but that's what's written.)

Page 11 of Chapter 1:
"A bank of black clouds lay in the east, [indecipherable,
something-ding. leading?] a dark wind, where Skay
floated..."
"A bank of heavy clouds lay in the east, where Skay
floated..."
(The word "black" appears to be replaced by "heavy" because
the word "black" is used later on in the sentence.)

Page 12 of Chapter 1:
"During the morning the clouds edged closer, and presently
struck down at the mountains with claws of purple lightning;
wind roared and groaned through the high crevasses of Mount
Cardoon."
"During the morning the clouds edged closer, striking at the
mountains with claws of purple lightning; wind groaned
through the high crevasses of Mount Cardoon."
(This correction is an almost stereotypical change from
passive to active.)

Page 12 of Chapter 1:
"The Djan halted ever more often in their work to listen."
"Again the Djan halted in their work to listen."

Page 13 of Chapter 1:
"From the west came a jingle and a grunting low-pitched
chant..."
"From the west came a jingle and a grunting chant..."

Page 13 of Chapter 1:
"Along the trail came first a Thariot..."
"Along the trail appeared a Thariot..."

Page 13 of Chapter 1:
"The Thariot rode sternly erect: a man of striking
appearance, with large rather prominent eyes, a [fine?
fair?] proud mouth, a black ram's-horn mustache."
"The Thariot rode sternly erect: a man of striking
appearance, with large prominent eyes, a proud mouth, a
black ram's-horn mustache."
(Vance, in a hand-written correction, inserted "and" in
between "large" and "rather", but then thought better of it
and eliminated both "and" and "rather.")

Page 13 of Chapter 1:
"He [wore?] no culbrass; nevertheless to Jubal, the man's
appearance and posture suggested high caste."
"He displayed no culbrass; his appearance and posture
nevertheless suggested high caste."

Page 13 of Chapter 1:
"...the ercycle-rider stopped short and made a [?] gesture."
"...the ercycle-rider stopped short and made a gesture of
petulant impatience."

Page 14 of Chapter 1:
"Then, suddenly becoming aware of the three Djan workers,
then Jubal, he drew back and tugged down the brim of his
hat."
"Then, suddenly becoming aware first of the three Djan
workers, then Jubal, he drew back and tugged down the brim
of his hat."

Page 14 of Chapter 1:
"Odd indeed! though Jubal; the man seemed almost furtive."
"Odd indeed! thought Jubal; the man seemed furtive."

Page 14 of Chapter 1:
"Jubal cried out in consternation: "Stop! Turn around!
You'll destroy the wall!"
"Jubal cried out in consternation: "Stop! You'll destroy the
wall!"

Page 14 of Chapter 1:
"The front ranks of the troop, still stubbornly four
abreast, dislodged stones, which bounded down-slope."
"The front ranks of the troop, stubbornly four abreast,
dislodged stones, which bounded down-slope."

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Michael Levy, mlevy1@gl.umbc.edu
Homepage: http://umbc.edu/~mlevy1